Self Portraits Over The Years

When I started pursuing photography, self-portraiture became my primary genre for a while. My motivation to start creating originated from the need to process the confusing mix of emotions of grief and joy after experiencing my brother’s death and the birth of my first son within the space of a few months. Self-portraiture wasn’t a very conscious choice; it was something that just happened because the only way I was comfortable experimenting with photography was alone, by myself.

At the time, we lived in a tiny and very plain apartment in the student housing at a university. I used our white bedroom wall as a backdrop, a stack of books on a chair as my tripod, the windows as my only source of lighting. Nap time was my shooting time. That’s how my very first self-portraits came into existence, and I would continue creating self-portraits for years to come.

It has been a way to, perhaps unconsciously, find freedom, playfulness, and beauty in creativity and embrace a portrayal of myself independent of the standards and expectations of life as I knew it - not as a kind of alternative or embellished “self” in the mode of a social media profile, nor as a mere expression of what I felt or desired to be, but one that found, and revealed (if only to myself), the truth and beauty of what was given.

Being both the portrayer and portrait without the fear of judgment can be both a liberation and stimulation, and can be a way to overcome feelings of doubt and unworthiness that all people - not just artists - encounter in the course of their lives.